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  • Writer's pictureBobby Aazami

Unfriending Rapists and Abusers in Your Social Network

Will Not Rest-Your Story Matters-No Rapist Friends

A self proclaimed sexual predator resides in the White House. That same self proclaimed sexual predator has appointed a brash, unsympathetic and brazen individual with a number of sexual assault allegations to be confirmed as a member of the Supreme Court of the United States.

Ultimately, rape culture not only excused Kavanaugh from facing justice through a half ass FBI investigation, but it also rewarded him. And in its trail it left behind many survivors of sexual assault - some men, but most especially women - triggered, traumatised and undermined.

We have to know it isn’t enough to say "I’m against rape culture." It isn’t enough to say “I believe you,” “I’m on your side” but still maintain a friendship with those you know are the cause of sexual assault and trauma.

It SIMPLY. ISN’T. ENOUGH. because it’s counterproductive and a blatant denial of reality.

When excuses and justifications are made for the actions of a rapist…we become rape apologists - and by not taking a strong stand against this apathy which exists, we are no better than Brock Turner’s father, who defended his son by defining sexual assault as “20 minutes of action.”

The way survivors are treated in this world is unacceptable and this is why rape culture will never change. So long as we are fearful to fully stand with survivors who NEED allies that TRULY believe them - not just with words, but with action - rape culture will never change.

I’m posting this to say to each and every one of my friends who are survivors of sexual assault, that my loyalty first and foremost is to you.

Whether you have spoken your story or not, you are part of a resilient community of brave souls and your story matters. And because your story matters, I want it to be known that I will not associate with the person or people who did this to you. You deserve much more than the denial you’re being subjected to right now because that denial is a form of emotional violence and I will never be complicit to your pain.

In a just world, one that doesn’t blame its victims and isn’t made up of archaic laws written by privileged, self serving White men, your story would matter. It still should matter.

To put it simply, if I am friends with your abuser or your rapist, private message me and that will change.

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